I am a terrible journal keeper. When I say "terrible" I actually mean "I don't do it...ever". So in an attempt to leave behind some sort of documentation to my unborn children that their parents were cool and awesome at some point in their lives, I have started a blog. I don't really expect anyone to ever read this, unless they happened to be so bored they think reading this blog will be a better option than the alternative of poking their eyes out with toothpicks.
Now that I've got that out of the way, here's a bit about me and my family.
My name is Bethany. I'm an old married woman with an empty womb...In other words, I've been married to my Best Friend for an entire year and we have no children yet. Derek, the fore mentioned Best Friend, and I were married in December of 2011 in Orlando Florida. We both are a bit obsessed with soccer; playing it, watching it, coaching it, playing it, and playing it. Derek is more of an addict to the sport than I am. His idea of a good retirement is adopting Brazilian babies, instead of having our own, so they can become professional soccer players and make us rich. He was a bit heart broken when I told him I didn't think it was quit humane to traffic in soccer slaves to be our own personal piggy bank.
We currently live in Tulsa,Oklahoma. We left sunny, perfect Florida for windy plains and solely country radio stations. Honestly, it's the greatest place I've ever lived. The people are so genuine, honest and kind. Well, except for when they ask us if we are brain dead for choosing OK over FL. We moved here for Derek's job. He is an E.M.T for a company here and he enjoys his work very much. His work is never dull and he always comes home with interesting stories. I landed a pretty sweet job as a soccer coach for a Lil Kickers program. Basically I get paid to wear soccer clothes all day and play soccer with kids. One word, AMAZING! I laugh daily at the things those little ones say. Here is an example;
Gavin is in one of my classes and he is 4. He is smarter than me and wants nothing to do with soccer but his parents put him in to get him out of the house. As we are scrimmaging at the end of class I see Gavin twirling and circles and muttering big words to himself. I walk over to check on him and he pulls on my shirt and says he wants to tell me a secret. I bend down to his level and he says "I run on diesel." To me it sounded like he said "I run on the field" so I told him to get running then. He annoying looked at me with that You're-an-ignorant-fool face and said again "I run on DIESEL! Watch!" He proceed to push his belly button and take off at rapid speeds around the field. The following week as Gavin came into class I asked if he had filled his tank with diesel before class. Again I got the You're-an-ignorant-fool face and he stated so matter of factually, "Diesel prices are outrageous. I'm going green. I switched out my engine and now run on electricity." Well DUH. I should have known. He is 4....
We have no human children but we do have Digby. He is our 5 month old Mini Schnauzer who is sleeping next to me as I write this and is expelling the rankest flatulents known to man. If he and Derek had a Fart Off, Digby would take the cake hands down. He is full of live and energy and is in some ways preparing us to be real parents. We figure if we can keep him alive and happy then we could probably handle a baby.
I guess that will do it for my first post. Hopefully I can stay diligent and make one a week. But who am I kidding....
We are the Hellard's and we are out to raise hell on this world while this world helps to raise us.
Great job love it
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